Posts by troubled mind

28

Remember when you could wear casual clothes to the congregation book study?

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

i would get home from work,eat dinner,shower and put on jeans,a shirt and gym shoes to the book study.

then,one day a letter was read where men would need to wear a suit and tie and the woman would have to wear dresses.

it was stated in a letter that the change was due to, '' giving a better witness to anyone who would watch us walking into our local congregation or a neighbor's house.''.

troubled mind

I attended meetings from the1960's until 2006 ...we never got to wear casual clothes, ever . I tried getting away with denim skirts and coulots on book study nights several times . Some areas must have gotten away with it though because I remember letters being read about the dress code . We had two 70 yr old women that always wore pantsuits back in the 80's they gave the Elders a lot of grief ! :) Loved those ladies ....sadly the Elders broke them down .

14

What I said to an Elder and the matter was dropped.

by Simon Templar in

i decided to tell this small story.. about 25 years ago, we lived in a certain area in the usa and associated with the local congregation there.

coincidently, one of the elders was the assistant congregation servant in a different kh and congregation which i grew up in.

therefore, we knew one another well.

troubled mind

This type of thing happened to my son when he was a teenager .

The Elder accused him of something he did not do ,because he was with two other boys that got caught smoking . He was with them ,but did not participate . The Elder was just so sure of himself he would not believe anything my son said. He even said someone had come forward and witnessed the event .My son still maintained it did not happen.I asked the Elder to bring forth the eye witness......that is when we learned the Elder was lying . He figured that if he put enough pressure on my son,that he would admit to wrong doing . This event forever changed my son's ,and our opinion of this Elder .

25

Going Nuclear - Marriage

by Sofia Lose in

has anyone here gone nuclear on their spouse and, all of a sudden, came out in the open as a jw opposer?.

by this i mean, sitting them down and saying: i no longer want to be a jw anymore, do not want to go to meetings or preaching anymore!

and, what has happened in the relationship after that?.

troubled mind

Sophia Lose ....It is scary . Probably the scariest thing I have ever done . I went 'nuclear' on my husband ,and completely blindsided him . One day we were at the meeting ,and I just could not take it anymore .I asked him to take me home ,and once we got there I told him I never want to go to another meeting again . If I had the chance to do it all over I would have prepared him better. It shook him ,and he thought I was going to leave him . It took a few weeks to really explain to him that it was the religion I was done with, not him or our marriage .

I told him that if he needed my support I would attend meetings with him for a while . He decided himself just not to go back either ....he didn't want to continue alone .Our kids were raised and gone . He had already started to be involved in a couple of hobbies so I encouraged him to just get into those more completely .

I think it took us about three yrs to really even out ,and find our freedom . At first he was some what depressed ,but over time he began to see the hypocrisy of the Witnesses. He never has done his own deep research ,but he has listened to things I have found. I started slow with things I knew bothered him ,and gradually shared doctrinal issues ect.

Our marriage ,now almost nine yrs out ,is stronger and better than ever before .

Before I don't think we had always been open ,and honest with each other . As Witnesses it seemed like everything was contingent upon what was expected not what was really true .

Good luck Sophia ,it is scary . I just thought to myself at that time ,"Take the leap " ,because staying in something that is slowly killing my soul and happiness is just not worth it .

128

Participate In The EX-JW Personality Test!

by C0ntr013r in

first of all; i must admit that i'm not a huge fan of putting people in boxes like this, it is not an exact science.

but i still think the data can be quite interesting and i intend to collect it and share it in a structured way with you guys.

so without future ado here are the details.. link to test: .

troubled mind

I am ISFJ-T Defender role -Sentinel

9% introverted

36%observant

25%feeling

30%Judging

7% Turbulant

Read the profile and have to agree very much with the descriptions .

Born in JW left after 44 yrs .

20

Do US JWs Still Knock on Doors?

by cultBgone in

this may sound like a silly question, but do jws even door-knock any more?

the few i know only speak of "manning the cart" at some public location, and because they get defensive if i even ask an innocent question like this i thought i'd ask it on the forum.

thanks!.

troubled mind

I just saw some out yesterday doing door to door work . I hardly ever see them doing that anymore .

25

interesting stuff re the RC in my local area

by umbertoecho in

i was sent a list of places i could contact in my part of wa.

i was cautious.

i always ask if they are jws.

troubled mind

That's great umbertoecho ! I hope you find some healing and comfort .I think the Royal Commission has done some excellent work supporting victims in the cases they are researching . Please continue to pursue the support you need .

39

JW UN Rumor

by ivanatahan in

jw
friends

yes, i have returned.. a short recap of major events since my inactivity began: i finally revealed to my parents that i do not believe the same thing they believe in (after i was caught smooching my girlfriend by a family of good-for-nothing pieces of human feces), and of course they view themselves as failed parents who were unable to brainwash their children.

that is, of course, the reason why they are much more controlling over what i do in my life now (my mom even tried having a "bible study" with me).

i told them everything and i was unable to dent their jw imposed mind force field, while also exposing a clear jw misunderstanding of probability, evolution, history, logic/reason, and the big bang theory.. in a conversation i had with my mother a few weeks back (i also heard this rumor before, but my mother told me it again), she mentioned how the un held a summit of all religions and when the jws presented themselves and mentioned their preaching work warning of the coming un ban on religion (referring to an international organization who can't even prevent genocide, much less impose human rights), a un official came up to the jw who presented the cult and told him to "speed up the preaching work", because they plan on doing the ban soon.. it saddens me to think of how ignorant jws are in relation to the principles upon which the un was founded and being unaware that the un at least has some sense as to not ban religion, but this rumor, as ridiculous as it is, needs to be put at rest.

troubled mind

I heard that same Urban Legend back in 1977 ! I was a young teenager .Our group of other JW teens would sit around discussing how close the end was ,and this secret private intel was PROOF .....boy were we gullible

18

Books by Former Witnesses

by GiftsinMen in

i am interested in reading books published by former jws which detail personal experiences of their time with the organisation.

i know of coc, exiting the jw cult, mamas club, 30yrs a wt slave, and told ones were written by otwo, punk and terry.

i'd like to spend some time making my way through them so titles, authors and links would be really useful.

troubled mind

On the lighter side ......I read ,Kyria Abrahams book "I'm Perfect,You're Doomed"...tale of a Jehovah's Witness upbringing ,and liked it very much . It is her life experience written in her own humorous style .

http://www.amazon.com/Im-Perfect-Youre-Doomed-Upbringing/dp/1416556869

33

Thought I was stronger!

by Peony in

just come home from a weight loss class early.

it's 6 months since i da'd and two and a half years since i've been to a meeting.

there was a witness there (unless she has left, i wouldn't know) we made eye contact!

troubled mind

I felt much like you did when we first faded .We live in a small town and see JWs quite often . In fact at one time five families lived with in one block of me !

But I am here to tell you it gets so much better ! It took me actually about 3 yrs to gain enough confidence to no longer care when I ran into any JWs.

My husbands step brother is an Elder here ,and his wife is an elite Elderess :) . They make quite the dramatic show of shunning us in public . We literally bumped into my sister in law at the grocery store while turning down an aisle . I am a friendly person so I immediately said, " Oh Hi !" She looked through us as if we were invisible ! I just busted up laughing because it was so ridiculous..

I have run into her son, our nephew,and he at least was nice enough to smile, and say hello . You know just like a normal human being .

For the most part I just treat them like any other person I see on the street . I wave ,smile ,say hello ,because that is what you should do .If they want to be jerks ,well that is on them ,but I won't be like them .

Seriously Peony ,hold your head up ,look right at them and smile ,say hello ,then move on along . It builds your self confidence each time you do this .Any onlooker will see who is being small and smug .

59

Introducing Myself

by Peony in

i've finally got round to joining the site (after over 2 years lurking!

i was born into jws, pioneered for 10 years (met my husband at pioneer school).

had health issues that saw me catapulted away from 'the centre of the cong' and wow what a different place that was!

troubled mind

Welcome Peony ! So nice to see so many are waking up in such a big way . My husband and I had a very similar experience .

I too use to have severe anxiety and depression problems ,that cleared up after getting free from the pressures of the JWs .

It does take time to decompress. I think it took us a good three years to get back onto stable ground after we left .

How are you and your husband coping with the loss of family and friends ?